My office is situated on a little hillock in Goregaon (a suburb in Mumbai) in a building called Oberoi Commerz (or Oberoi towers). It has some 30 odd floors out of which 4 are ours – 11, 12, 13 and 14. A few of the floors belong to a 5 star hotel West In. The rest of the floors belong to some random offices. In short, none of what is there in the building contains anything confidential.
The security measures implemented will not give you that opinion though.
At the gate (which is three minutes away from the actual building), where security is concerned, you will be greeted by the following:
A security guard. with a sniffer dog.
This security guard has been given some sort of a military uniform – camoflagued. He has been fooled into believing that he is on a very dangerous and high-profile mission to safeguard something very important.
The sniffer dog looks nothing like a dog of its designation should. On many occasions I have seen it smile and wag its tail at people who to other dogs might look like thugs. One of these days it will raise one of its legs and take a leak too while sniffing one of the wheels. One of its important accessories is the red leash on its neck that looks exactly like the tag that comes attached to the Ogilvy& Mather ids. (We probably have much more in common than just the tags, but that’s not important here)
A security guard, without a sniffer dog.
This one has a blue uniform. And his dog is…hahaha…he has no dog. His important job profile involves checking out identity cards, and getting those who don’t have one to write their names in a register.
Man in black 1.
He directs traffic. He makes sure everyone stops for the security guard, the sniffer dog, and the other security guard. He wears a black shirt, and black trousers.
Man in black 2.
He is well built. If kicked out, he can join a nightclub as a bouncer. His job is to just stand around looking tough. Note: He wears black trousers. But unlike Man in black 1, he wears a black t-shirt.
After you pass the gate, you walk in with a sense of accomplishment. Then you cross the bird-dropping cleaners, the leaf cleaners and others employed due to nature’s benevolence. Finally you reach the building. (past a makeshift smoking area, and parking lot). More security measures, and people await you.
Two security women, and a metal detector
One woman each stands on either side of the metal-detector. One takes your mobile phone (we don’t think she reads our messages). The other one says ‘good morning sir’.
The scanner, and its operator.
We place our bags on the conveyor belt that takes it through a scanner. There’s a computer adjacent that shows the contents of our bags.
By now you would have understood that we at Oberoi are very particular about security. Last Sunday when I came to office, I passed everyone at the gate, and managed to reach the building. Everything went on smooth. I acknowledged both the metal-detector women, and gave my bag to be scanned. As I waited for it, they saw it. The computer had detected it. The high-security measures had been justified. There was something in my bag. They looked at me hard on my face (before deciding my fate) to check for any form of remorse. In a hush tone, so I don’t go berserk, they asked me to open my bag. The operator, and another man were on either side of me. I slowly opened one of the compartments in my bag. They were ready to take me down. They looked deep into my bag. There was an object wrapped in a newspaper. I took it out. They saw it, looked at each other, and gave it back to me. I took it, and with a look of accomplishment, walked straight with my head held high towards the elevators.
I wasn’t going to part with my vada pav.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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